SNHU is going waste-free. Well, at least three students, Keith Schmabberhammer (’19), Kiwa Stuwy (’19) and Anita Salad (’20) want to anyway.

The three students were inspired by Washington Hall, where the trash rooms were removed to ensure recycling in the dorms. Students were given a large dumpster outside of the building to replace the trash rooms. However, this isn’t enough, and a group of students are rooting for a new system.

They want to remove toilets from all dorms. The construction for new buildings would initially become a massive landfill meant to dispose of all waste underground. When students first move into their rooms, they will be greeted with the usual welcome gifts, as well as a bucket and shovel for sanitary means of removing waste. It will come in the proud SNHU colors of blue and gold.

The landfill will eventually become farmland for an agriculture and farming major being proposed by the group. Schmabberhammer, the student who proposed the idea to the school, said that “this transition to waste free will not only protect the environment” and that “we need to love our land and fill it with a part of us.”

Others were not so keen on the idea as stated by Hein Burger (’22) who would be affected by the change. “That’s actually disgusting. I’m voting no.”

Another proposed policy change involves the dining hall. The university will no longer supply paper boats or plastic forks, but rather implement the Cupped Hands policy. Students can buy as much as they can grab. Students will use their hands to cup and hold all food, including drinks.

After hearing this, Beau O’Spaghetti (’20) said, “this is so ridiculous. It’s already hot to touch the containers after getting Italian food, but now I have to grab spaghetti by the handful.”

The dining hall will sell all edible products like fruit peels, potato skin, bone marrow and everything that wouldn’t be considered toxic.

A vote will take place on April 1 after the details of the policy get worked out. Some students may find humor in this, but there is no funny business when it comes to the environment.

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