This article is part of The Penmen Press’s annual April Fool’s edition. Even journalists need to have fun once in a while…

SNHU’s success as a regional education powerhouse means that as more students than ever enroll, there is an increasing demand for courses, athletics, housing and parking. To meet the demands, the Manchester campus looks like a construction zone already, with more to come.

University Expansion Officer Pour LeTapp today announced that the new dormitory being built behind the Wolak Library and the Dining Center will be named Smuttynose Hall, joining Tuckerman and New Castle Hall as SNHU dormitories whose naming rights have been purchased by beer manufacturers. New Castle Hall will also be renamed Newcastle Hall to conform to the brewer’s branding.

“It’s a similar business transaction to the University leasing the naming rights to the SNHU Arena,” said LeTapp. “The revenue generated from the breweries naming these dorms means SNHU can offer more amenities and comforts of home to residents.”

SNHU’s growth creates logistical and other challenges as education and the business of the school must continue.

Those challenges even extend to naming new facilities in ways that honor SNHU’s heritage and New Hampshire’s history, but LeTapp said that the Board of Trustees instead decided to use an interruptive, Construction Updates innovative approach and forgo tradition in favor of money. By selling naming rights of dorms to breweries, SNHU generated income while keeping names already familiar to college students.

The University also confirmed that after years of discussion, Chocorua and Winnisquam halls would be torn down this summer and replaced with a new, stylish five story dormitory to be called Taylor Swift Hall.

The new residence hall will include three levels of underground parking in a garage called LeBlanc Space. This will provide shelter from winter weather and the need to move cars for plowing.

Taylor Swift Hall will be a freshman-only dorm, designed to ease new students into college life. Assistant Dean of Student Recruitment Zayn Niall said that SNHU data showed that too many first-year students missed the comforts of home when they arrive at college. “The problem was not unique to SNHU, but we believe that with this new residence hall, students picking a college really have only one direction.”

The posh facility feature extra-large double rooms with walk-in closets and a new WiFi source independent from the one used by the rest of campus.

The university is also expected to soon announce a new SNHU plane and landing strip located just off East Side Drive to coincide with the arrival of the former Daniel Webster College

Jon Boroshok
With 20 years of public relations, marketing communications, and journalism industry experience, Jon Boroshok is the Faculty Adviser for The Penmen Press. He teaches Public Relations, PR Writing, PR Campaign Planning, Social Media, Data-Driven Decisions, Journalism, and Public Speaking. Boroshok earned his BS in Communication from Emerson College, and an MBA in Marketing from Northeastern University.

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