This article is part of The Penmen Press’s annual April Fool’s edition. Even journalists need to have fun once in a while…
While the 2016 Presidential Election season has only very recently come to a close, American citizens can already begin campaigning for the next candidate running to be leader of the free world: Paul LeBlanc.
A recent law change has allowed non-American born residents to run for office and LeBlanc intends to use this to his advantage.
LeBlanc announced his candidacy this past week via megaphone upon the Green Space. After amassing a crowd, LeBlanc addressed the SNHU Community saying, “I am here to announce that I will be running for president in the upcoming 2020 election. SNHU needs not fear, as I will base my campaign here on campus and will do my best to put the university’s interests first.”
When asked about his campaign platform, LeBlanc said that he “hadn’t figured out all the details yet” but “not to worry, it was going to be awesome.” To punctuate this point, DJ Halestorm began playing “Born In The U.S.A.” as LeBlanc revealed American flag pants beneath what appeared to be well-crafted, tear-away suit pants.
When asked about why he decided to run, President LeBlanc said, “It felt like the right time. I feel as though I’ve done a good job running a university, and a country is just a big university. There are departments, and people, and I heard Sodexo caters all meals at the White House. I assume it will be an easy transition.”
LeBlanc continued, saying “I have stop number one on my campaign tour right here! First stop Dining Center, second stop America!” At this point, the crowd carrying LeBlanc began to pick up speed and was gone.
The campus has mixed reactions about the President’s decision to run for President. “I find it incredibly noble,” junior Clancy Lamppost said. “If it’s something he wants to do, then I am ready to support him.”
Sophomore Lisa Flingo said, “I am worried that this may separate the campus if they don’t agree with his platform. I hope that his campaign incorporates the voices of all SNHU students.”
President’s LeBlanc’s campaign will be followed closely over the next four years.