This article is part of The Penmen Press’s annual April Fool’s edition. Even journalists need to have fun once in a while…
Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU) announced on Apr. 1 that it will be partnering with Trump University to improve the reputation of SNHU’s online business program and to expand course offerings. Starting with the summer term, SNHU online students will be able to take classes at Trump University with no additional fee.
As a part of the contract, Donald Trump has agreed to be a guest speaker for every class. Trump is excited to work with SNHU students. “College students love me, and I love college students. They’re going to love me if they don’t already love me, but I know they all love me,” Trump said.
Trump has recorded a welcome video specifically for SNHU students that can be found on the SNHU website. In his welcome video, Trump explains that he’s going to “make their education great again.”
SNHU’s online business students will now be able to take courses at Trump University including Winning 101, International Business: How to Beat China, Advertising: A Study on Hitler’s Speeches, and Corporate Financing: How to Fail Yet Still Win.
SNHU place a statue in front of Tuckerman Hall to commemorate the union. Sources say that the replacement will look similar to the Washington Monument (Washington, D.C.).
The statue will tower over students without serving any real purpose. In honor of the partnership, SNHU will name the statue “Trump’s Tower.”
After visiting the campus, Trump suggested that SNHU build a wall around campus to keep the moose out and make the moose pay for it. SNHU rejected his idea, saying that the students get along well with the moose, and they have never caused a problem.
SNHU denied providing any support to Trump’s presidential campaign and declined to comment but said, “He’s a good businessman.”
Some students have expressed concern over the partnership. One student said, “What’s his specific plan for this partnership?”
Do not worry, peers, Trump has “huge” plans for this partnership.