You’re walking outside the dining hall. You have your wallet and phone in the back pocket of your jeans when sud- denly out of nowhere they fall on the ground. At this point you’re fearing the worst. Is my screen cracked? Did anyone see that? There’s nothing left to do but pick them up and curse your jeans.

As a bystander, I can no longer be silent. Girl jeans are rigged. Either the pockets are too loose, there are no “real” pockets, or the pants are too tight for the pockets to be useful.

Then there’s the jeans that don’t even have pockets, so can those even qualify as jeans? I mean honestly…what’s up with jeans? Guys have plenty of room to fit stuff in their pock- ets and you don’t ever see their wallets falling out.

I think it’s pretty clear what’s up with that! Purses. A victim of the girl jeans pan- demic, Freshman A. Cuddy said, “Jeans are obviously rigged for women because they want us to buy those damn purses”.

It’s an interesting argument. In this consumer based society, are stores carefully calculating their pocket size? Is it to make us buy purses?

Upon further research, it turns out this was a big debate when the iPhone 6 Plus came out. Men, for the first time, were able to experience the pocket dilemma that we as women face every day.

Because let’s get real, women’s pockets are not actually pockets! Your coat pocket is a pocket. If you’re a man, you have pockets.

But if you’re a woman, it’s time to just accept the fact that you don’t have pockets!

Retail is just screwing us over one pair of pants at a time. It’s a terrible fact to come to terms with, I know, but biology and birth has sealed us to this inescapable fate.

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